Ex's and Oh's
by SwiggieBishie
Summary: Based on the song by Elle King. This is a oneshot, Lily and James are alive and McGonagall is Headmistress. This is pure fun and crack and I hope you like Harry coming out to the entire school.


It was a normal day at Hogwarts as everyone started to file into the Great Hall for breakfast. McGonagall did not get a chance to sit down when the Potter family bursted into the Great Hall with the Marauders in toll. Remus and Sirius was arguing about who was going to give Harry his Maradaurs' name while James was trying to calm a fuming Lily. "Mr. and Mrs. Potter-" Mcgonagall was cut off by Lily, "Where is my son?" She demanded as everyone in the Great Hall fell silent. Most students was making bets to see what Harry did this time while the others was watching the scene unfold gracefully. "What do you mean?" McGonagall asks in curiosity. Harry hasn't done anything since the Plant incident a couple of weeks ago, which is strange for a boy who gets in trouble everyday without trying.

McGonagall took a big sigh as she resisted to face palm and plan her retirement, "What did he say he was going to do?" Whenever Harry is about to do something on purpose, he usually owl his father. "Something about coming out and wanted us to be there." Was all Lily could say before she made the platter of pancakes on the Slytherin table explode from wandless magic. The ones closest jumped and gave a shriek of surprise as the Head Boy, Draco, tried to calm everyone down. James jumped into action as he wrapped Lily in his arms and started to say soothing words into her ear, "Calm my demon, there is no reason to try and destroy Hogwarts. Maybe he meant coming out subtly, he is our child after all." Lily gave James a death glare, "Yes, and this is OUR son. Meaning, he has Marauders' blood running in him."

James started to pale as he opened his mouth to say something, but he was cut off as music started to play in the background. "Is that what I think it is?" Sirius says questionably as the Marauders' eyes were wide open. Everyone turned when they saw Harry come into the Great Hall. He was wearing Gryffindor red strapless bathing suit with gold see-through fabric hanging off his arms. There was decorative golden snitches hanging off the very bottom of the gold see-through fabric as there was gold fabric draped to the floor, surrounding his golden 10 inch heals. He made his way to the Huffelpuff house as the music continued, his clothes changing as he passed the houses. By the time he got to the Huffelpuff house, his clothes was a mixture of yellow and black. "_Well, I had me a boy, turned him into a man_," Harry sung as he put an arm around Cedric Diggory. Cedric turned bright red as Harry continued, "_I showed him all the things that he didn't understand, whoa._"

Harry let go of Cedric as he made his way to Gryffindor, "_And then I let him go_," Harry was already by the Gryffindor table draping himself over Ginny as he looked Cho right in the eyes. "_Now, there's one in California who's been cursing my name, 'cause I found me a better lover in the UK, hey, hey,_" Harry kissed her on the cheek and went to the next chorus as she went bright red, "_Until I made my getaway,_" Harry was suddenly on the other side of the Great Hall and was standing on top of the Ravenclaw table. He stomped his silver heel along with the beat as he snapped his fingers on the numbers, "_One, two, three, they gonna run back to me. 'Cause I'm the best baby that they never gotta keep. One, two, three, they gonna run back to me. They always wanna come, but they never wanna leave._"

A wood swing twined with gold and silver came his way as he was singing and he grabbed it with one hand and splaid his body out so one foot was touching his knew and his other leg was sticking straight out. "_Ex's and the oh, oh, oh's they haunt me, like ghosts they want me to make 'em all, they won't let go, Ex's and oh's!_" Harry swung his body around so he was seated on the board as his outfit was shifting from each house colors as he swung around the Great Hall. Winking at his gobsmacked family as he passed them. "Is he wearing dark red lipstick?" James asks as he got a nod from everyone. "_I had a summer lover down in New Orleans, kept him warm in the winter, left him frozen in the spring, my, my,_" Harry blew a kiss to the Great Hall as he stretched his left leg out onto the twine, "_How the seasons go by._"

"_I get high, and I love to get low, so the hearts keep breaking, and the heads just roll, you know,_" Harry winked and dipped low enough to touch one of their hands before he pulled up, "_That's how the story goes._" Nobody said anything as they were completely fixed on the man on the swing as Harry moved with more grace than a ballerina. But one pair of eyes was glued to him, and it was exactly what he wanted. _"One, two, three, they gonna run back to me. 'Cause I'm the best baby that they never gotta keep. One, two, three, they gonna run back to me. They always wanna come, but they never wanna leave._" Harry leaned back as he was standing and kicked one leg up, "_Ex's and the oh, oh, oh's they haunt me, like ghosts they want me to make 'em all they won't let go. My ex's and the oh, oh, oh's they haunt me, like ghosts they want me to make 'em all. They won't let go, ex's and oh's!_" Harry Landed on the Slytherin table as he made his way down the long table with the grace of a model as he sung.

"_One, two, three, they gonna run back to me. Climbing over mountains and a-sailing over seas. One, two, three, they gonna run back to me. They always wanna come, but they never wanna leave_," Harry stopped moving right in front of Draco as he started to move his hands all over his body and started to get into the song real good, "_My ex's and the oh, oh, oh's they haunt me, like ghosts they want me to make 'em all they won't let go! Ex's and the oh, oh, oh's they haunt me like ghosts they want me to make 'em all they won't let go!_" Harry fell back into Draco's lap as he uttered the last words, "_Ex's and oh's._" Draco tilted Harry's head up and kissed him in front of everyone. "You so owe me 20 galleons Moons."

Everyone turned their attention to the Black Lord and his Lord. Moony was sighing as he handed said money over as James was trying not to cry. Lily was no where to be seen until Lily popped up behind Draco and hugged both of the boys, "Harry, you're grounded. Draco, welcome to our messed up family. Have either of you figured out a wedding day?"

**"MOM!"**


End file.
